So this is what I originally wanted to write about when I got distracted by my thoughts on music..
I have this thing…I’m so… I don’t know I can’t find the word for it, it’s not exactly lazy or unmotivated, I just can never always see something through to the end. I’m not the best at actually finishing things.There have been many things that I have started that I have not been able to see all the way through. I always will start a new project, such as exercising daily, or a scrapbook, or even something as simple as journaling. It’ll last for a few days but always it starts to fade out and I’m not exactly sure why.
Anyway a lot of times it happens with writing for me, and being here, having this incredible experience I want to be able to remember it vividly for the rest of my life. I want to capture the essence of what it’s about and what this experience has been like for me in a way I will forever remember. That’s partially what this blog is (if it’s out there for the world to see, and i ~hope~ that people are reading it, I have a little more enthusiasm towards writing). But also through journaling where I can keep track of some of the more personal things that I experience. This has always been my problem with journaling. I love it, I love to write, but I couldn’t tell you the number of journals I have that are started and not finished. I always get these “ideas” for things to journal about, or even short stories to write. But then I get caught up in other things and never really stick with it fully. It’s a hard dilemma, because you want to live in the moment but also at the same time want to remember the moment forever.
I want to write more, I want to be able to remember every moment of this experience, both the good and the bad. I want to capture every sight, smell, feeling… all the magic of this and how I have changed as a person. I have been journaling, but not enough. I love to write, and on the days I sit down and actually do it I really enjoy my writing. But there are other days where I get too sucked into technology to write. I get distracted by TV, Facebook, instagram, everything. I wish it was easier to just unplug, disconnect and get lost in my words.
Writing about this experience will help me to look back on it one day and remember all the feelings, memories, and people. Also it’ll help me figure out more what I want from life, and from myself. I feel that when you’re writing you can really be honest and open with yourself, also you almost get to talk through your thoughts and problems… with yourself. Hopefully I can write more, and figure out more about myself. Now it’s finally starting to get nice out, I want to take my writing outside, leave my phone behind and just enjoy the Barcelona air and let the words fall onto the page.