I have officially been living home back in New York for one month…. the only word to describe what I am feeling right now is STUCK.
I know I am going back to Barcelona soon but right now sitting and waiting around to go back is driving me crazy. I am currently dealing with processing my student visa and waiting until it’s done to go back to Spain. While it’s great to be home and see everyone I am itching to go back … and that’s how I know that is where I am meant to be right now.
Being home gets me in this rut, the days start to blend together and the next thing I know days, weeks, months have passed by without much really happening.
I had all these plans for my time at home… I was going to do all this writing, reading, cleaning and organizing of my life… well safe to say I’ve barely done anything. I’m trying to find my way out of this rut. But I know as soon as I’m back in Barcelona I’ll emerge from this. Something about that place makes me be a better person. A person I enjoy being. That is why I know that it’s the place for me right now because it encourages me to be the best me I am, it’s something in the air, or the water I don’t even know. But something about that places allows me to truly be myself.
One thought on “stuck”
Hi I see that you are now back in Barcelona so congratulations and good luck with the masters. But just to let you know that I often get that feeling when I go home. I feel that some of us left home because we have some sort of calling, not because of need, and we find that the world exists outside the place where we grew up and that has conventions and expectations. So by not having any role model to follow (like our relatives), we can easily mould ourselves to be who we want to be and when we go back home… surprise, we are no longer the same person and we no longer fit. I’ve been home sometimes for very short time and still feel that way, stuck, feeling guilty for not being happy to be home… I’ve been abroad for 8 years, but just started my own new adventure 🙂