How do you deal with unsupportive people in your life? How do you deal when you feel like someone is blocking your path? How do you deal with the people who get in the way of your hopes, your dreams, your goals and ambitions?

 

How do you deal when one of those people is a parent?

 

This move to Colombia to go live with my boyfriend is by no means the easiest thing I’ve done (if you’ve followed some of my recent blog posts I’m sure you are aware). But this decision is something I am 100% certain of, and while I have some small fears and small doubts I am still certain.

One of the things that was most frightening to me about this whole process, was not the decision of moving itself,  actually it was telling my mom about my decision to go live with my boyfriend in Colombia. Now don’t get me wrong, I love my mom, she’s super supportive and encouraging. But we butt heads a lot, we’re super similar and as a result we tend to clash on occasion (okay maybe more than I would like to actually admit).

When I first told her about my move, she took it surprisingly well… (maybe that should have been my first warning ). She said, “while I’m upset you’re going off again, I get it. I get why you have to go”. She met my boyfriend, she loved him..Everything was great. All the cards seemed to be falling into place.

 

But now there’s been a sudden surplus of “road blocks”, things suddenly happening and getting in my way (seemingly out of nowhere) and making it more of a struggle for me to leave for Colombia… and this sudden surplus makes me think, maybe it’s not in fact a coincidence.

 

The thing is I’ve been trying to go to Colombia for almost a month at this point, my mom asked me to stay home for Thanksgiving,  being that I haven’t been home for the past 2. So obviously I said of course, realizing that I’ve missed this important family holiday the past two years I knew that this year of course I should stay. So I did. And then the plan was to leave soon after… or so I thought. And each day there are more and more obstacles in my way.

 

Now each day I keep trying to go to buy my ticket, and every single day she has a reason for me not to do it, asking me to take care of “just one more thing” before. Always silly and always resulting in an argument. The longer I wait, the more expensive the ticket gets, and the more frustrated I become. And right now really I’m at a catch 22, I don’t want to go behind her back and purchase a ticket and say “well hell I’m doing it anyway”, but at the same time I can’t wait forever… I need to go to Colombia and start my life there.

 

I really don’t know what to do in this situation, I almost feel as if I’m fighting a losing battle..

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12 thoughts on “

  1. It is hard to deal with un-supportive people who add obstacles that block your goals and dreams… I was in a similar place in my earlier twenties. I eventually learned that sometimes you have to love people from a distance for awhile while you check dreams off of your wish list. The people who really love and support you will always be there when you return.

    I think that you are really brave and I admire you for being upfront about your plans with your mom. I know from experience that that is not an easy thing to do. She loves you and will always want you to be nearby. Moms have good intentions and want what is best for us.

    You have put a lot of thought into you decisions and it is really nice that you are spending Thanksgiving with your family. Here are two little phrases that I created for myself as reminders. The first is, “When you stop going it is time to get going!” That goes for both leaving and returning. And “Be Real. Be True. Be You!” I am excited for you and your adventures!

    ❤ Alana

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    1. Thanks for your kind and encouraging words Alana!

      I’m glad to hear about your experience and your journey. It’s true that sometimes you need to in a way put yourself first. Maybe the people you love won’t be the most supportive at first, but I think that eventually it’ll happen.

      Thank you for saying I’m brave, It was scary and it was difficult.. but afterwards I was relived in a way. I love my mom, she’s my biggest fan but sometimes Moms are the most difficult critic.

      The decision is hard, but the decision is right…. thanks for the inspiration quotes. They definitely help 🙂

      xxo

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      1. It sounds like you are on a good track. I agree with you. It is normal to get some push-back from the people we love, but once they realize you are happy and healthy they will become more supportive.
        That happened with my mom. She was always very protective… still is. I went my way and at one time I stumbled and she helped me get back up. After a journey of twists and turns I found a way of life that brings me joy and she came around too and is happy for me. I hope you will have a wonderful Thanksgiving and good luck with your adventures!
        ❤ Alana

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      2. Thank you Alana for your support during this… as you can see from my most recent post… I DID IT! Somehow it all worked out, while it wasn’t completely free of bumps in the road, I did make it.
        I know my my mom wants what’s best for me, and is very protective, so I just need to appreciate that more.
        Exactly the same happened to me, a journey of twists and turns… but in the end there’s joy. Happy Thanksgiving xoox

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  2. Adults make their own decisions – but while it’s a bummer to feel unsupported by anyone close to you, your family is always your family. That relationship transcends differences of opinion (hopefully), although those differences always seem to have a much higher degree of intensity between family members. Buy your ticket. As someone once said, ask for forgiveness (not that it should be necessary in this case, IMHO), not permission. I wouldn’t say you need to be 100% sure in order to decide, because that implies a willful ignorance of the risks, and all changes have risks – but so does staying put. If you feel so inclined, you could also try to sit down with your mom and discuss the subject directly, inviting her to discuss pros and cons from both points of view, yours and hers. Including her in the discussion probably won’t stop a parent from worrying – it comes with the job – but may make her feel better that you’ve been willing to listen to her perspective, which is undoubtedly different from yours. My two cent’s worth, I don’t think it’s so helpful to think in terms of “mistakes” – just experience and what can be learned from it. For a full life, embrace risk and adventure! You will grow through your adventure no matter what!

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  3. Why did I think of my mom right after I read your intro??
    I was in a similar situation. My mom refused to see eye to eye and tried to stop me from chasing after my dream which was to move to Korea for a year, but I guess you can say I am not the most submissive child so I went ahead and moved forward with the process. She eventually came around to supporting me…but she still expects me to come back home…and I don’t know if I want to do that ever… haha

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    1. Moms, they’re all the same…they want whats best for us, love us unconditionally.. yet sometimes no matter what there’s some head butting involved.
      That’s exactly how I am, first I moved to Barcelona… and she begrudgingly supported me (she thought it was temporary) .. then I stayed another year… and then she thought I was done… but here I go again. I guess it’s harder for her each time, yet each time it gets easier for me. Its hard to see it from both sides, but we get through it, because the love is unconditional!

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