The life we live is so short and we should truly try and make every moment count. 

 

While I have done that in the past, I feel like I have been doing an absolutely terrible job lately ….

 

My time home so far has been extremely difficult for me. Adjusting has not been easy for me . Between the difficulty of being apart from my boyfriend, plus re-acclimating to my life in the US (living home again), and truly missing Spain which has become my home, it’s just been really rough for me.

 I know that I should be making the most of all this free time that I have right now (especially since I’m moving again in a few months). I should be productive and be getting things done. BUT I am finding all the days blending together, passing one to the next without really accomplishing much of anything…


 

I really feel like I am wasting my time at home. I am not making every moment count. And I’m not happy with myself, or proud of myself.

 

I hope something changes, but I know that the only way to change it is for me to make it happen. But I need to pull myself out of this “slump” in order for me to actually be doing something with my life.

 

But sometimes I feel like I’m watching my life from the outside, the minutes, hours, days, weeks all blending together and passing me by with nothing really happening. Wanting to do something about it… but feeling as if there’s nothing I can do (when the reality is I’m the only one who can actually do something about it). The most frustrating part about this whole thing is I honestly have absolutely no clue as to what is causing these feeling in me, and without having some understanding of the cause I don’t know how to fix it and how to pull myself out of this situation.

I guess it could be the difficulty of adjusting.

Living Abroad is an amazing thing, it changes you, but coming back from this amazing and life changing experience is the rough part. You’re thrown back into the life that you had but the difference is now you’ve become this completely different person. Sometimes so much so that the life you’re returning to feels like it belongs to someone else, that it’s not your life anymore.

 

**sorry if this is a little sporadic, really it’s just the rambling & mess of thoughts from inside my head that I wanted to share

 

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29 thoughts on ““Make Every Moment Count”

  1. The lack of structure to a day or week or life in general is inevitably disruptive. Our days like our behaviours need to have structure and boundaries. So totally understand this thinking.

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  2. Give yourself a break, transitions take time. It’s okay to just be still and not accomplish anything sometimes. A book that has helped me to focus on the moment is The Power of Now, by Ekhart Toyle. I recommend it. I admire your courage.

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      1. I had to remind myself that this country was now home. Whether other people saw me as a foreigner or not, this was my new life and I needed to adapt. I started going out and mingling with people. Meeting new people is going to help a lot! So push yourself out and re-connect with old friends, maybe approach a Latino center to volunteer and teach English? Whatever you do, don’t let this feeling knock you down! 🙂

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  3. I totally get you, I’ve been home back in the UK (after living in Spain) for a year now and I am still not back in the swing of things. The life abroad adventure is amazing!
    I came home for a few personal reasons and I try keeping myself busy everyday, focus on new projects and all the while keep my connection with Spain.
    Things will get better 🙂

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  4. Wow, I wonder if this is how I will feel. I’ll be moving to Japan in November and I’m anticipating a rough start. I heard that returning home could be hard because of the reverse culture shock but I never thought of this. Spending a large part of time in a completely different environment would no doubt change your outlook of life.

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  5. It’s so easy to forget the need for a fallow time inbetween the busyness where we can regroup and just be for awhile. I was helping out in my son’s classroom years ago when he was just learning to read and write. The teacher kept emphasising to lead a finger space inbetween the words. Without the finger space, you struggle to find the meaning. Having these gaps, doesn’t mean your life is falling apart or that you’re being unproductive. You’re reflecting, letting the dust settle. Giving yourself the capacity to rebuild.
    Then, there’s time where the rubber has to hit the road and you need to get on with it again but you’ve recharged the batteries and better equiped.
    All the best,
    xx Rowena

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    1. Hello Rowena
      Wow, thanks for this amazing comment… this story about your son’s classroom, it just makes such sense.. It really helps me to feel better about this “gap”. At first I felt guilty, like it was wrong or problematic to take this time for myself… but It’s okay & I deserve it.
      I need to recharge and get myself together before I do anything more, thank you for encouraging and supporting that
      xxx

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      1. You’re welcome. Once I stumbled across this truth, so much fell into place. That said, it’s not easy to live by. The temptation to keep doing and doing and the fear of falling down a deep hole of no return if you stop, push you back into the grind too quick. xx Rowena

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  6. I hope you have better days now. I have accepted that I have good days as well as bad days. I’m not even adjusting to anything and I totally understand what you’re saying here.

    “But sometimes I feel like I’m watching my life from the outside, the minutes, hours, days, weeks all blending together and passing me by with nothing really happening. Wanting to do something about it… but feeling as if there’s nothing I can do (when the reality is I’m the only one who can actually do something about it). The most frustrating part about this whole thing is I honestly have absolutely no clue as to what is causing these feeling in me, and without having some understanding of the cause I don’t know how to fix it and how to pull myself out of this situation.”

    Sometimes, we just don’t know and if we can accept that (as I do my utmost to follow my own advice), it’s less frustrating, devastating… it becomes more bearable.

    Hugs xxx

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