In a way lately I feel somewhat trapped between two lives. Both here and there, yet not really totally in one place at all.
Trapped between the life that I had back in Barcelona, and this life that I came home to here in New York.
It’s no secret that adjusting to life back home after living abroad is rough… I never expected it to be easy.
But here’s the thing, I came home and stepped right back into this life I lived … years ago … and it’s just not the same. I’m not the same and the people aren’t the same either. I feel somewhat out of place, as if I’ve missed things and I’ll never quite fully understand.
I get together with some friends, who at one point were some of my closest friends. And now I feel so disjointed … as if I’m the only one who doesn’t know some big secret (which actually kind of is the case because I don’t know 100% of what went on when I was away… partially my fault). I feel as if I’m only half here, because the other half is where my life is … where my life should be… in Barcelona.
And then on the other hand there’s my life back in Barcelona.
I feel as if I have left so much behind. I had a life there, a life that made me happy, a wonderful group of friends and it just worked. It was normal, it felt right, everything fit into place… and then I left it all behind.
I knew it was time for me to go, time for me to move on… and now I have a new adventure to look forward to. It’s just now in this weird limbo stage, I feel somewhat trapped between my life here that I’ve come home to, and my life there that I’ve left behind.